Saturday, July 21, 2012

This picture...

This is the picture that is motivating me.
This is the picture that has me thinking.
This is the picture that is making me realize that I need to change.
Change my mindset and my lifestyle.

  This is part of a family picture taken at my sister-in-law's graduation. I know that I should be happy about this picture, and I am, but part of me hates it. I love it because we are all there, even my brother-in-law's two boys are in the picture.  But I hate this picture. The way I am standing makes me appear even larger then I already am and I hate that.  This picture was put up on Facebook for all to see and I hate that. And of course, everyone in the picture was tagged on Facebook so it is being seen by like a zillion people and I hate that. Then to make it even worse over 70 people liked the picture and there are at least 45 comments on it and I hate that. To sum it up, this picture, where I noticed just how awfully large I am, has been seen by a lot of people. Great. To top it off, I hate that I feel this way. I want to love this picture even though I am big right now. I know that this is just a moment of my life but I am struggling with getting myself to think that way. All I see is a gross overweight me and not the happy to be around family me that was there celebrating that day. I need to change my mindset.

Do other people feel this way? 

I think they must also feel this way, it must be somewhat normal, normal but definitely not healthy.  I have an amazing friend, Linette, who has recently changed her life by getting healthy.  I never would have called her fat before but she is in great shape now.  I am so inspired by her dedication to getting fit.  She looks awesome, I mean she is HOT!!  But she still must have some of the same body image issues that I do because earlier this week I was checking out her blog for motivation and noticed that she hadn't updated her current stats picture in a long time.  So I sent her a text asking her, ok, if you know me then you know I didn't ask I told her that she needs to update her current stats.  Her text back was, "My current stats...fat still.  Ugh maybe next month I'll update."  Fat still!!! This girl is anything but fat.  She rocked a size 0 dress at a baby shower last weekend.  I love Linette and I want her to change her mindset too.  So whats the trick?  How do we work to be happy in the body God gave us?  I am a little afraid that I might reach my goal and still not be happy with myself.  Ugh. 

(Sorry I cropped the picture, I don't have permission from everyone to post their pictures on the Internet so I cropped it to just show you me)

1 comment:

  1. Oh Hun! You are not the only one that feels that way! With the 40-ish pounds I gained during pregnancy I've maybe lost 20 of them. I feel like a blimp. I SOOPA DOOPA hate to see myself in a reflection. I don't feel comfortable when I am sitting, standing, walking, lying down. I take pictures with my baby because I want her to see me beside her and to have photos with her mama but I really do not like to look at myself in those photos. I look distended like a bloated corps. A friend posted a pick on facebook of my husband and I the other day taken at a surprise birthday party. The picture would have been nice but all I could focus on was how extremely ROUND my face was. I learned from my therapist that I should not talk negatively about myself which is fine. But is it negative if it is true? There is one saying that is kind of giving me hope in this siutation. "I will be grateful for what I am rather than angry for what I'm not"
    I think at this point in time it is okay not to like being fat but we shouldn't hate ourselves. Perhaps we should be happy that we still have teh ability to change. We are physically and mentally capable of eating better, exercising, etc. We have supportive spouses. One of my fav verses in the bible
    "8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
    Philippians 4:8
    Maybe they were on to something. You must focus on the positive to stay positive. You are a beautiful young woman with a gorgeous family. You are already on the right track to getting healthy. You are completely capable of whatever goal you set your mind to. :)